Here are some ideas of ways you can help the family of an ailing child. Many people feel so helpless when friends are going through a difficult time, but you truly can help them. We use the feminine expression here since mothers are often the caregivers, but all of this is equally important for the fathers who often don’t get the chance to share their emotions the way women do:

2.  Offer to fund a caregiver in the home that could help out.  Sometimes medical students need a project and will care for the child as long as they can do research on the disease and journal about their experience.  A small hourly rate would be good or they may volunteer.  Another note:  Some EMT's are willing to volunteer in a family’s home as a caregiver.  Sometimes they will do it if they are on call and nothing is going on at the station.  Some towns are doing this now and it is a great experience for them.

 3.  Pay for a cleaning service for a month or two, or if you have time, offer to help.

 5.  Send a care package for the siblings - books, art projects, videos, etc.  They get left out!

 6.  Do research on the disease and create a portfolio or binder with the plastic three ring inserts, adding the information to the binder (a cool color one).  Label the binder "Child's Name Care Plan” Divide the binder into sections:  (therapy, medical supply inventory, medicines, research & resources, medical records, education (0-3 programs), a calendar, doctor/hospital visits/ caring for the caregiver (fun section).  Design some forms on Excel that would allow her to track events and appointments.  You just created a care plan for her child and her to use for appointments, and more.  Periodically email more information or new ideas on how to make life better for her family.  

9.   If you called her with your trials and tribulations before her child was ill, do not stop.  Continue to share the lighthearted events in your life. one of the most difficult things families go through with their friends is loosing them because the friends feel helpless, don't know what to say, and stop calling.  They still need to hear what is going on in your life, and even if they don't have time to answer the phone or reply to an email, will appreciate knowing they still have your friendship.

10.  Find humorous things to send to her.  While allowing her to cry is helpful, it is even more important to give her a reason to laugh.  Sometimes all we need is to laugh a little.  For example, you could send a monthly card, a funny movie, or just call and tell her something funny that happened to you that day.

11.  Say to her that you don't know how she feels, and she doesn't have to be strong or do things on her own.  Getting help is the best way to manage her child's care.  It’s no different than managing a business.  She is now a health care coach for her child and her job is to find the best health care and community based managers she can to support her decisions.

14.  If the child passes, continue to call not just in the days after the death, but regularly in the weeks and months after.  Know that although no one ever gets over the loss of a child, it takes three years to come to terms with the loss.

Make A Donation